Too many interests, too little time

If I could choose a superpower, it would be time control. I’d slow down the world around me and take that time to read all the books on my shelves, learn how to do a handstand, take on the sewing projects I’ve procrastinated, study french and spanish until I’m fluent, rewatch all of Doctor Who and Friends, build a PC from scratch, make handcrafted gifts for all my friends, learn how to play the complete Muse discography on my guitar, write a novel, and so much more.

And the wonderful thing with this superpower would be that I’d still manage to do chores, see family and friends, have quality time with my partner, do some exercise and get enough sleep. Without compromises!

The reality is that my to-do list feels infinite and my calendar is chronically overplanned. My closest friends know what I mean when I tell them I’ve done a “Sofieke”, meaning my calendar is at the point that it stresses me out and I can’t even remember how it got that bad (again!). Needless to say, the kinds of things that make my calendar so bloated usually aren’t any of the activities I mentioned above.

…

There’s a popular Substack essay titled “I want to do everything, so I do nothing” to which I relate a lot, eventhough it’s more about career choices. In her essay, the writer quotes a paragraph from Sylvia Plath:

“I can never read all the books I want; I can never be all the people I want and live all the lives I want. I can never train myself in all the skills I want. And why do I want? I want to live and feel all the shades, tones and variations of mental and physical experience possible in my life. And I am horribly limited.”

I think no one could have worded it better than she did.

So how do I deal with this?

I do less :’)

The solution is very simple: do less things. Like Sylvia Plath said, we are horribly limited, so we must prioritise. Visiting my (grand)parents is more important to me than becoming fluent in french or spanish. Learning how to play my guitar is more important than learning calisthenics or how to do the splits.

This realization has made me very intentional with the things I dedicate my time to. I won’t finish a book or movie I don’t like. Addictive social media apps are banned from my phone (I am prone to doomscrolling). I try to keep one day of the weekend free as often as possible, to have time for myself.

Friends + creativity

Most of my friends actually like the idea of doing something creative together instead of going out for food or drinks like we usually do. It has made our time together more memorable and enjoyable. Doing something creative always brings me back to the present moment, right there and then with them.

I remind myself that I still have decades ahead of me

What am I stressing out for? I’m not even thirty yet! People still do lots of fun and interesting stuff when they are in their 50s, 60s, 80s even. My own parents are the best examples of that. My sewing lessons, spanish lessons and guitar lessons have always had people from various age groups.

The perks

The good thing with having all these interests is that you will never find me being bored. Many of my hobbies and interests can be done by myself, which in turn makes me more comfortable with being alone. When talking to strangers or getting to know someone, chances are pretty high that we find some common interest or at least a subject we can both talk about.

I feel a bit like a real-life Ditto (the polymorphing blob Pokemon) sometimes, able to transform into whatever version of myself that I want to be in a given situation.

In the end, this really is a “luxury problem” and I’m lucky enough to have free time at all :)